Career Advancement

5 Attributes for Protégés to Demonstrate

find a protegeIn season eight of Seinfeld, Jerry and George Costanza had the following exchange:

George: I still don’t understand this. Abby has a mentor?
Jerry: Yes. And the mentor advises the protégé.
George: Is there any money involved?
Jerry: No.
George: So what’s in it for the mentor?
Jerry: Respect, admiration, prestige.
George: Would the protégé pick up stuff for the mentor?
Jerry: I suppose if it was on the protégé’s way to the mentor, they might.
George: Laundry? Dry cleaning?
Jerry: It’s not a valet, it’s a protégé.

George was certainly not interested in being a mentor for the right reasons. Later on in the show, Jerry reluctantly mentors a fellow comedian. It was a bad match from the beginning, but part of the problem was the comic protégé did not know his roll. Just as there are Be-Attitudes for mentors, there are Be-attitudes for protégés.

• Be organized. Whether it’s your initial meeting with a mentor or your 15th, you need to have an agenda. You’re not just meeting to meet. This is a learning relationship. Be mindful of the mentor’s time. Don’t waste it by not being prepared. Ask what time is best for them and be flexible. Consider meeting before or after work, or during lunch. You are both setting time aside, so try to separate your mentoring sessions from the work day.

• Be eager to learn. As a protégé, consider yourself to be a ball of clay that is open to being molded and shaped over time. If you open your mind to learning, thinking differently and trying new things you might surprise yourself.

• Be receptive.  Accept honest feedback and view it as an opportunity to improve yourself. Be receptive to change and your mentor can help you grow professionally.

• Be trustworthy. Trust is something that is hard to earn and easy to lose. Set ground rules up front that what is discussed in mentoring sessions stays in mentoring sessions – it goes in the vault. That is, unless you need help outside of the mentoring session and you ask your mentor to intervene.

• Be open to new ideas. You’ll have the opportunity to see things through the eyes of others. You are looking for perspective, and by considering different ways of doing things you’ll grow exponentially.

Now, armed with this knowledge you are ready to seek out your mentor. Let me know how your journey goes.

9 Essential Qualities to Look for In a Mentor

“Always in motion is the future.”
– Yoda

Mentors are more than just advisors. They are guides that help protégés grow and develop. Mentors are valuable allies to have on your side. Let’s explore some of the best qualities to look for in a mentor.

Mentors should:

• Be available. The relationship between a mentor and protégé doesn’t occur immediately. It evolves over time. And time is something most people have in short supply. Mentors must be willing to spend time regularly with their protégé and have a desire to work with their protégé to plan strategically and to help build that individual’s career.

• Be willing to learn. An ideal mentoring relationship is really a partnership in which both parties learn from each other. The mentor brings knowledge and experience, but so too does the protégé. The mentor’s insights can help boost your skills, abilities and goals accomplishment. The younger protégé (or less experienced because mentors can be younger than their protégé) can provide a different perspective that an open-minded mentor can use to improve their workplace relationships.

• Be knowledgable. A mentor does not have to be an expert, but should be proficient with the political structure and operations of the company, the industry or your profession. You can benefit from a mentor’s cross-departmental relationships or industry contacts. A mentor with a broad-base of knowledge has more to offer and can add to your overall career development.

• Be a good listener. Listening is an important interpersonal skill and one that not everyone is proficient. The mentor should give their full attention to the protégé (and vice versa). Let the person finish speaking before you chime in. It is also important to ask questions. A mentor who is a good listener can ask probing questions to flesh out a clearer picture of what the protégé is presenting. This way the mentor acts as a sounding board who in turn can provide unbiased feedback.

• Be open-minded. By keeping an open mind, a mentor can help you develop a vision for the future based on their short- and long-term goals. Understanding the direction and expectations of the protégé will make charting the course a seamless process.

• Be a confidant. Everyone needs a safe place to safely open up, a place to work off frustration, anger, or apprehension without fear of retaliation. A safe harbor is created after there is mutual trust established in the relationship. In addition to listening, maintaining confidentiality and providing feedback are the key things you needs. Mentors should provide protégés with a shelter where thoughts can be voiced, emotions can run and ideas can be acted upon (or curbed). This sanctuary provides an environment suitable for you to learn control and coping techniques.

• Be challenging. Imagine taking a dog for a walk (I’m in no way comparing a protégé to a dog). You can walk a dog with no leash and the dog can run all over the place. You can also walk a dog on a three-foot leash and it will stay right by your side. Or you can walk a dog on a leash that allows it to walk from three feet to 15 feet away, but it can always get back to safety if danger threatens. Likewise, mentors can create situations or assign activities to protégés. This allows you to step out of your comfort zone and develop new ways of thinking or new skills. The safe environment is conducive to you gaining independence. If the project goes well, the protégé could earn credit and recognition and discover a new identity in the workplace.

• Be honest. When I was growing up my mother would tell me to “look in the mirror” when I was acting out. I didn’t get it until I became a parent. Explaining how others view the protégé is an important attribute of a mentor as well. Just like with parenting, sometimes mentors need to use tough love and say the things that you might not want to hear. The advice is offered in a mentoring relationship, so then you are less likely to get defensive because you know the mentor has your best interests at heart.

• Be a champion. If you have demonstrated that you are a solid performer, a mentor can be your best supporter – and defender. Mentors can help protégés transfer to other areas of the company when opportunities arise. If you misspeak at a meeting and something is taken out of context, the mentor can step in and stop the rumor mill.

You shouldn’t seek out a mentor that can only provide instruction. Instead, you should look to a mentor who can commit to an ongoing, developmental relationship that will foster trust and help build confidence in the workplace. Tomorrow, I will discuss the essential attributes for protégés.

Has your career been impacted by a mentor? If so, please add to my list of mentor attributes.

So, You Want a Mentor?

“Always two there are, no more, no less: a master and an apprentice.”
– Yoda

Two years ago I decided that I needed a mentor. I needed someone at my company to help shepherd me, to help me grow as a person and as a professional. I did not look to a boss or friends (co-workers) – I wanted my own Yoda.

I asked someone that I held in high esteem and who was well-respected in my company – an individual I thought I could learn a lot from. When I asked the question, “Would you consider being my mentor?” I was asked a question in return. My future mentor asked me what I was looking for in a mentor.

Fortunately I had answers to the question. I was looking for a mentor to help me develop my full potential. Specifically:

• Build my confidence and trust in myself
• Empower me to see what I could do
• Help me chart a path to career growth
• Challenge me
• Stimulate my learning with no pressure
• Share personal experiences
• Teach me something
• Explain things
• Offer a different perspective
• Listen, understand and be a confidant
• Help me identify and work with my strengths and weaknesses

Before you start making a short list of people you’d want to be your mentor, you need to conduct a self-exploration exercise. You need to determine what you’re looking for in a mentor. When you have fully acknowledged the areas you’re looking to develop, then you can go about finding the best person to make that happen.

Tomorrow, I will explore the top qualities of a good mentor.

Yoda: The Best Mentor Ever

Mentor Yoda“Help you I can, yes.”
– Yoda

In the original Star Wars trilogy, The Empire Strikes Back, Luke Skywalker decides that he needs help on his quest to become a Jedi knight. Luke needs guidance and training so he can unlock his true potential and master the Force.

Luke travels to an isolated, swamp-ridden planet, where he finds Yoda who helps Luke to learn and grow by facing his fears and building up his confidence. Yoda, a wise and trusted counselor, becomes Luke’s mentor.

Yoda played an important role in Luke’s life – he helped Luke grow as a person and served as his guide for his Jedi journey. Their relationship developed over time, and Luke reaped the rewards of Yoda’s wisdom and experience.

Yoda set difficult challenges for his protégé, and encouraged him to figure out ways to accomplish the tasks. That’s where a mentor differs from a boss or a friend.

A boss is focused on the job or task at hand. They will tell you how to do something or show you how to do it. A mentor helps you believe in yourself.

A friend will tell you the things you want to hear, while a mentor will tell you the things you need to hear. Yoda did not sugarcoat the truth. Instead, he voiced his concerns and feelings directly and openly.

A mentor can have a significant impact on your personal and professional development. This week I will explore different aspects of the mentor-protégé relationship. At the conclusion of the series, you should have a better understanding of the advantages of having a mentor. Stay tuned – and may the Force be with you.

Mentoring Can Be a Boost to Your Company

mentor career boost“Ecologists tell us that a tree planted in a clearing of an old forest will grow more successfully than one planted in an open field. The reason, it seems, is that the roots of the forest tree are able to follow the intricate pathways created by former trees and thus embed themselves more deeply. Similarly, human beings thrive best when we grow in the presence of those who have gone before. Our roots may not follow every available pathway, but we are able to become more fully ourselves because of the presence of others.”
– Lois J. Zachary, The Mentor’s Guide: Facilitating Effective Learning Relationships

Learning is the fundamental process in mentoring, so both parties – the mentor and the protégé – need to have a connection for meaningful learning to take place.

It’s also important for the mentor to demonstrate a genuine interest in the protégé. And a mentor has to have the desire to share their knowledge and experience. Their reward comes from seeing their protégé grow and develop under their tutelage. As the protégé gains experience and standing in the company, the success of the protégé will naturally be reflected on the mentor.

But above all, there is genuine satisfaction of playing a pivotal role in another individual’s success. The mentor’s vision and values will be a part of the protégé for the remainder of their career.

Meaningful learning will have a profound effect on the mentor, the protégé, and quite possibly the company as a whole. According to Dr. Zachary, mentoring can:

• Help retain the next generation of leaders
• Improve leadership and managerial skills
• Develop new leaders
• Enhance career development
• Place individuals with higher potential on the fast track professionally

Strong mentoring relationships are positively associated with career satisfaction and employee retention. And people who have mentors are more confident, enthusiastic and successful in their jobs.

Does your company have a formal mentoring program? How has it benefited you?

Don’t Complain, Communicate: Boost Your Career with 7 Tips

Yesterday, I covered why complaining is dangerous to your career. That said, it’s important to understand the fine line between communicating and complaining, because one can hurt your career while the other can enhance it.


One of the most critical skills for employees seeking to grow professionally is communication. Sometimes, it’s necessary to communicate about negative things. Perhaps you need to tell your boss about an abusive co-worker. Maybe as a manager, you need to deal with an employee who messed up an entire product line.


Excellent communicators know that even when they’re dealing with negative subjects, they can keep things positive through what they say and how they say it. You can communicate professionally and make sure you don’t cross the line into the complaining zone by following these tips.


1. Prepare first. When you don’t take time to prepare your thoughts, it’s easy for communication about negative things to become complaining. Think of yourself as a politician who has bad news to deliver to the media – you wouldn’t go into it without well thought out points. Take the time to sort out your ideas, cool off if necessary and prepare your comments before taking on a conversation about a not-so-happy subject.


2. Communicate formally. Most gripe sessions are spontaneous, unplanned, secret and informal. To keep yourself from falling into the complaint trap when it’s time to bring up something negative, do so formally with an in-person meeting.


3. Don’t make it personal. This one is tricky, especially when other people are involved. But you should avoid making things personal when dealing with a negative situation. Otherwise, you’ll become too emotional and won’t be able to handle the situation with a level head. To keep things professional on the job, discuss issues, not people.


4. Discuss the problem briefly. Make sure you outline the basic issue, but don’t give more than a few minutes to communicate it, or you will end up in the midst of a gripe session. If you’re talking to someone else involved in the situation, you will need to take responsibility for limiting this part of the discussion, or you may find yourself dragged down a long path of negativity.


5. Focus on solutions. To keep the conversation grounded and to avoid getting personal, focus on talking about solutions, outcomes and opportunities. Sometimes, worst case scenarios are opportunities in disguise. Talk about what positive changes can be made or what needs to be done to address the situation fully.


6. Follow through. Because it’s a self-serving, emotional process, complaining rarely results in action. It usually starts and ends with negativity. To make sure your hard work and effort in addressing a bad situation properly don’t end up getting lumped in with complaining, follow through on your proposed solutions with actions to change things for the better.


7. Be positive. People often say that complaining is contagious, but positive communication is as well. No matter what negative things are going on, put a smile on your face and focus on the positive aspects of your work, life, co-workers, family and employers. You will realize that thinking positively changes your perspective and helps you communicate rather than complain – and it rubs off on the people around you, too.


Have you ever been in a situation where you found yourself complaining when you were trying to communicate? How do you make sure you stay professional and avoid workplace negativity?

Pick the Job That’s Right for You

My sister-in-law recently received her bachelor’s degree in nursing and began searching for a job. She was a licensed practical nurse for 12 years prior to her graduation – so she had a lot of experience in her field, which helped her job search. She received several job offers and is having a terrible time trying to figure out which job to take. She has three small children, so picking the right job is crucial to her work/life balance.


This job dilemma is a good one to have; however, some people aren’t quite prepared to handle this situation when it arises.  Of course, in the grand scheme of things, you must take into account all factors when trying to find the right job choice for your career. When trying to determine the right job, keep these tips in mind:


Take time to compare: Don’t say yes immediately. Make sure to take some time to evaluate each job offer. Write down the pros and cons of each offer, and go over them with your family or someone you trust. If you have additional questions, write them down and call the potential employer back for answers. Remember, you are interviewing them as much as they are interviewing you. You want to make sure it is a good fit for everyone involved.


Focus on your priorities: Money isn’t everything, so make sure that you understand everything each potential employer has to offer. Check out their benefits and healthcare package. Do they offer corporate perks or bonuses? If you receive a great salary but the company doesn’t offer any benefits program, or career advancement opportunities, is the pay worth it?


Be honest: Let other prospective employers know that you were offered another job and you are trying to determine the best fit. You don’t have to divulge any information about the salary or who is offering the job if you don’t want to. Let them know that you need some time to evaluate the offer, and give them a time frame in which you will get back to them. Most employers will understand if you ask for a few days to think.


Don’t back out: Make sure that you are respectful to all prospective employers. After you decide which job you are going to take, don’t back out. Once you have accepted a job offer, the company lets all other applicants know that the position has been filled. If you back out, the employer has to start all over, and it doesn’t usually reflect well on you.


You may love the idea of having multiple job offers, but the anxiety of picking between them can be tremendous. By following these tips, you can help narrow the field down to the one offer you want to accept.

Have you ever juggled multiple job offers? What was the deciding factor – money, benefits, time off?