Tag Archives: friendship

Can You Be Friends with Your Coworkers?

Or will you only end up hurt in the end?

In a given year, many adults spend more time with their coworkers than with their friends or family. That lack of socialization can make it tempting to turn your coworkers into friends. A day spent talking about new projects and meetings can turn into a social outing after work; you can be productive and get your social fix at the same time.

But is it really the right choice to turn your coworkers into friends? Honestly, it depends on who you want to be friends with, where you work, and a ton of other factors. Before trying to start up a workplace friendship, ask yourself these questions.

What’s at Stake?

First, let’s define what we mean by “workplace friendship.” We’re not talking about the cubicle buddy you make fun of the dress code with, or that guy in accounting that told a great joke before the 8 a.m. meeting. A “workplace friendship,” as we define it, is a relationship that combines your personal life with your work life. Meaning that you meet up after work for meals or go to events together.

There can be plenty of benefits to having a close friend at your place of work. They can inform you of project progress in a different department, chat with you about your strengths and weaknesses, or help you figure out how to tackle a particularly difficult work problem.

However, whenever there’s a large group of people, cliques are certain to form. Whether it’s the playground, high school lunchroom, or the nearest breakroom, it’s hard for people to be friends with everyone. And cliques result in people feeling left out, feelings they might act on by gossiping about you or just being difficult to work with.

When you begin a workplace friendship, that means opening yourself up to the possibility of that friendship failing and still having to work with that person. Maybe you complained about a coworker when you were friends but then got promoted, causing jealousy and frustration. They tell that coworker you said something negative way back when and suddenly you’re the office tyrant.

Are They Your Boss?

How good are you at setting boundaries? Some people are able to separate work and personal issues to such an extent that talking to them about deadlines is like dealing with a completely different person than the one you planned an upcoming get-together with.

If you can’t be that person, it’s probably not a good idea to pursue a friendship with your boss. That opens you up to a whole world of criticism. If it goes well, you have to deal with other employees thinking you get special treatment. If it turns out you aren’t actually that big a fan of your boss outside of work and no longer want to spend time with them, you’ll be in the awkward position of feeling like you have to meet with them after hours to keep your job. And you’re not being paid to be anyone’s friend.

As noted by Monster, Dr. Jan Yager, author of “Friendshifts: The Power of Friendship and How It Shapes Our Lives,” said “Same-level friendships are the easiest to maintain. Problems can arise if one friend has to supervise or evaluate the other.”

But what about when your friend gets promoted and is now your boss? The key is to set boundaries. Gone are the days when you could make fun of upcoming training classes or analyze a recent managerial decisions together. If you value the relationship, keep overly personal conversations to after hours and weekends.

Do They Want to be Friends with You?

The Week is pretty clear on where they stand on this issue in their article, given that the title is Your Coworkers are Not Your Friends. And to be honest, they’re right. This quote best sums up what they’re trying to say:

“That is not to suggest we cannot or should not make friends on the job. But it is to say most of our coworkers will only ever be coworkers (take a moment to think about how many of your friendships with former colleagues have any meaningful existence outside of Facebook), and inside the office, they should be treated accordingly.”

Nobody in the workplace is there to make friends. At the end of the day, most of us are here to make a paycheck. Liking your coworkers gives you more of a reason to come in every day (and those that like their coworkers enjoy their jobs to a much higher degree), but it’s not the base reason you work.

What that means is you shouldn’t assume your coworkers want to be your friend just because you do. If they do, great! But if they don’t seem comfortable with high-fives or keep rejecting your invitations to get dinner or hang out on the weekends, don’t take it personally. Although being friendly is often a must to thrive in the workplace, being friends is not. People are free to have their own interests and spend their personal time on their own terms.

Do you have any experiences with friendships gone wrong (or right) in the workplace? Let us know in the comments below!

Happiness and a Good Job – You Can Have Both

happiness_at_work_webWhat are the keys to happiness in the workplace? While that answer may be different for each person, there are some factors that lead to a more satisfied workplace. According to a Gallup poll, 24% of the global workforce is actively disengaged with their jobs. Additionally, 63% of the worldwide workforce is “checked out, sleepwalking through their day, or putting time but not energy or passion into their work.” This leaves only 13% of people who are happy at work.

People who are happy and satisfied with their personal lives are also more likely to be happy with their jobs. So, how can you make your job something you enjoy? Check out the information below to help you find happiness in the workplace.

Know the Facts
To understand the current state of happiness in the workplace, take a look at these statistics:

  • Forbes states that the people most satisfied with their jobs include database administrators, quality assurance engineers, executive assistants, and recruiters.
  • According to Happify, things that affect our satisfaction at work vary for men and women. For men, it’s compensation and interest in the work. For women, it’s flexibility, workload, advancement, and the people at work.
  • When it comes to Millennials, those born between 1980 and the mid-2000s, 64% say they would choose a job they love that pays $40,000 over a boring job that pays $100,000 a year.
  • 69% of bosses are satisfied with their jobs, while only 48% of workers are. Furthermore, 39% of self-employed workers are satisfied with their jobs, compared with 28% of people who work for others.

Find Your Happiness
Thankfully, there are ways you can find happiness in the workplace. According to author Alexander Kjerulf, the keys to staying happy at work are accomplishing something that’s meaningful to you, knowing your job is important, and being appreciated. You can help others find satisfaction with their work by celebrating their successes, lending a helping hand, and offering recognition for jobs well done.

Think about what you do and try to find the meaning in it. If you work in a retail environment, you may find satisfaction through helping provide people with items they need. Or if you’re an administrative assistant, you may find meaning in the fact that you’re directly influencing the success of others. When you engage in work that feels meaningful to you, you’ll likely experience higher rates of motivation and satisfaction as a result.

The job you currently have may not be the one you want to have forever, and that’s okay. Remember to use the time you have at your job to make important accomplishments and connections with others that can benefit you in your next job.

At work, every day is not going to be easy. When you’re stuck with a challenging situation in the workplace, believe in yourself instead of getting stressed. Think back to a similar task you accomplished and remember that you are capable of accomplishing this one too. Your positivity can impact your work. In fact, according to Shawn Achor’s book, The Happiness Advantage¸ entry-level accountants who believed they could accomplish what they set out to do ended up with the best job performance ratings.

Making friends at work can also help you stay happy on the job. Studies suggest that if you have three or more good friends at work, you are 96% more likely to be satisfied with your life. To nurture friendly relationships, take some time to greet a co-worker you don’t know very well and practice random acts of kindness in the workplace.

How do you stay happy on the job? Share your tips in the comments section below!

Movin’ On Up is brought to you by Express Employment Professionals.

Friendships After a Layoff. Where Do You Draw the Line?

With nearly 700,000 job losses reported in February, more and more people are being affected by layoffs. Whether you know someone who has lost their job, or are now unemployed yourself, dealing with a layoff is difficult. It’s normal to turn to your friends for support, advice, and guidance during difficult times. But, where do you draw the line when your friend is your co-worker and you’re the one that was laid off?  Can you still be friends after a layoff? Yes, you can, but chances are, it won’t be easy. Here are a few things to keep in mind to help you sustain your friendships, even after you’ve been laid off.

Be Careful Who You Reach Out To.
After you’ve been laid off, it’s in your best interest not to reach out to your former co-workers for support. Those who are still employed may fear losing their own jobs and be unable to sympathize with your loss. Instead, talk with your other friends or family members for the support you need.

Be Mindful of Your Conversations.
If you choose to talk with a former co-worker after you’ve been laid off, be mindful about your conversations. Since friendship is based on many commonalities besides work, find something else to talk about. If the conversation heads back toward your current job situation, talk about the positive aspects of your job search, but avoid talking about your former workplace or the circumstances surrounding your layoff.

Avoid Group Gatherings.
Avoid spending time with a group of your former co-workers, because the topic of work is bound to come up. You’ll feel out of place and be reminded that your former co-workers still have a job and you don’t. So, decline any offers to attend group events when only former co-workers will be in attendance. Instead, ask each of your closest friends to meet you one-on-one so you can continue your relationship outside of the workplace in a comfortable setting.

Some friendships don’t make it through a lay off because of the stress, embarrassment, and the lack of communication that can occur. No one likes the strain that a job loss can place on a friendship, but sometimes it’s unavoidable. To make your friendships last through your layoff, make sure you reach out to the right people, are careful of your conversations, and avoid large groups of former co-workers.