The Tricky Business of Keeping in Touch with Exes

When you leave a workplace, you may also be leaving behind friends and mentors. With three out of four people putting in more than 40 hours a week at work, it’s likely that a few co-workers have turned into friends. Or, perhaps you’ve developed a strong mentorship with someone at your workplace. So what happens to that relationship when you leave your job? Here are two situations where the relationship may stick around without the tie of the workplace. 

Common Ground
Making friends as an adult can be hard. It’s not like college or high school when the typical weekend party, sports activities, or family gatherings fostered new friendships. If you’ve made a good friend at work, or created a circle of friends, you may not want to give that up so easily. This can be especially true if you’ve found common ground with a co-worker, such as being newly married, raising kids, or caring for senior parents. Support in handling these stages of life is invaluable, and it’s possible that your friendship outside of being co-workers can continue because of your commonalities.

To help continue your friendships after you’ve left a job, remember these few invaluable tips. Keep your focus on your friendship, and avoid discussing workplace gossip which can only end badly for both sides. Once a co-worker is longer a team member, the trials and celebrations of your workplace should really not be shared since they no longer work there. Likewise, if you’ve left a workplace, but have remained friends with a co-worker, don’t pressure them into telling you the details of the latest staff meeting. Of course, you might be reaching out for support in creating work/life balance or celebrating a promotion, but the daily grind should be left out. Additionally, announcing to your co-workers that you are spending time with a former employee isn’t necessary. Your personal life is private, and it’s not really important for you to broadcast who you are spending time with, whether they are former co-workers or not.

Professional Development
If you’ve found a great mentor at your current workplace, one of you leaving could be one of the best things to happen to your relationship. No longer will your mentorship be tainted with company politics. You can seek advice about the best direction for your career without having to worry about how that plan fits into your mutual workplace or aligns with company goals. Plus, it makes your mentor an objective third-party bringing fresh perspective to your situations. And, now that one of you is doing something new it may be a chance for you both to learn something new.

You may also want to stay in touch with past co-workers because you work in the same industry and if you’re in the same town, you’ll likely cross paths again. You don’t need to have frequent lunch dates or constant emails, but if there are a few former co-workers that you know are great networkers, keeping ahold of their contact information isn’t a bad thing. You never know when you might be searching for a job again, or looking for help with a project. Be careful not to burn any bridges you may need to cross later, you never know where life may take you.

How have you handled relationships when you’ve left a workplace, or had a friend leave your workplace?

Diplomacy in the Workplace

There is nothing worse than when three minutes of your day have the impact to create a bad day. But sometimes you get thrown into a situation that catches you off guard or shocks you so much, that the filter in your brain quits working and you spout out the first thing you think of. Rarely does this end well, especially at work where people don’t love you like family or a best friend, and are slower to forgive you.

Here are a few situations where taking a few seconds to breath and think clearly can help you be more diplomatic in the workplace.

When An Action Shocks You
We typically don’t set out to lack diplomacy, but sometimes you are so shocked that you forget to think before you react. Being diplomatic doesn’t mean you don’t address something, it just means that you address it tactfully. A simple format for slowing down and thinking about this is to follow the pro/con/pro approach. This means to start with something positive, address your concern, then end on something positive. Here is an example of pro/con/pro: “I appreciate that you’re here to help (pro), but we can’t be joking around with equipment like that, it’s too big of a risk (con). Now, I know you’re really good at this, so let’s get started (pro).”

When Someone’s Lack of Understanding Frustrates You
When you can’t seem to find clarity in a discussion, instead of stating your opinion again, or explaining something for the third time, take a break from acting like the expert and try a fresh approach. Try offering options to see if you can get clarification, obviously if your solution was the only one, than you wouldn’t be in this situation, so open the discussion up a bit. For example, “We could empty all the boxes and then sort the parts, or we could sort the parts as we empty the boxes, which do you think?” Sometimes, instead of digging in your heels, you need to offer a few options to see what idea is chosen.

When the Topic of Conversation is Inappropriate
It can be hard to refrain from abruptly stopping a conversation you think is inappropriate. As a co-worker, you really aren’t in a position to regulate the actions, conversation, or opinion of others. You are also not in a position to belittle someone or take up a debate at work. But sometimes something sparks and you find yourself in a situation like this. The important thing is to realize it as quick as possible and end it. You can demonstrate discretion with a simple and gentle statement like, “Well I hear your opinion and while this is an interesting conversation I don’t think we agree, which is totally ok.” Then just casually walk away or state what you are doing next, like, “Now I better get down to the mail room” or “I need to get back to my phone.” The important thing here is to make sure your tone is approachable and light, and make sure your body language matches this. You don’t need to feel dragged into a situation just because you took the bait at first, knowing how to walk away gracefully is a talent worth learning.

Do you have a story of when your discretion saved your workplace reputation? Share it here and let others learn the best way out of a sticky situation at work.

 

How to Rock a Group Interview

Interviewing can be scary but group interviews can be a nightmare. Answering rapid-fire questions, navigating group dynamics, and carrying a clear conversation can be intimidating. Here’s some advice on how to impress during a group interview.

Meet and Greet
It’s great if you know in advance you’ll be in a group interview – even better if you get the names of those involved. However, if you don’t, make sure to take this part of the conversation slowly. Shake hands and greet each person, jot down their name, and ask what their role is and how it interacts with the position you are applying for. This is a good time to get your footing and observe group dynamics, so don’t rush introductions.

Facilitate Questions
In a group interview it’s easy to fall victim to poor planning on the part of the interviewers. If they don’t jump right in with questions after introductions, offer a brief overview of your work history and point out a few key skills or experiences that you believe make you a good candidate. Make sure to actively listen to the questions being asked. Chances are, you’ll be nervous, and if two people are talking over each other a question could get lost. You may need to take notes to capture all the questions so that you can do a better job answering. As in any interview, restating the question for your own clarity is acceptable and will allow you some time to formulate an answer. Allow for questions from everyone involved, and if someone in the group hasn’t had a chance to ask a question, address them by name and ask if there’s anything they would like to know from you.

Seek Information
Often a group interview can allow you to experience group dynamics and workplace culture. Use your time to ask a few questions about the environment and team projects. Not only is this a good time to learn, but keep your eyes open because there may be body language or internal communication here that gives you a deeper glimpse into the workplace. If something deeper does seem to be brewing about a particular topic or question, remain neutral, this isn’t the time to align with a possible future co-worker or pick sides on an issue. This style of interview gives you a glimpse into company culture and dynamics, adding some food for thought to your decision about accepting a job if it’s offered.

Group interviews can be intimidating, but they can also be fun. It’s a chance to understand the team you are considering joining and show off your communication skills. What are some ways you’ve excelled during a group interview? Let us know in the comment section below.

2 Time Management Tricks to Master and 2 to Lose

Do you think there will ever be a moment when you have enough time? With workweeks getting longer and schedules getting more full every day, learning to manage your time is an envied art form.

Two to Master

  1. Your schedule.
    If you’re managing your time, you’re managing your schedule. And if you don’t manage your schedule, someone will come in and manage it for you. Whether you use a printed calendar, a project list, an Outlook Calendar, an iCal, or a calendar app, you’ve got to have a schedule to reference. The phrase “Let me check my calendar” is an attempt at trying to control your time, however if your “calendar” doesn’t have what you’ve got going on in your life, it can’t work as a filter for your schedule. A good calendar, in whatever form you choose, allows you to see when you have time for extra work, provides others with updates on when they can expect things from you, and creates freedom in your schedule.
  2. Your email.
    Finding a way to organize and respond to your email will empower you to save time and help manage your schedule. A recent study found that employees spend about 2.6 hours a day sending, receiving, or sorting email. Microsoft offers the four D’s in handling email:
    a. Delete It – Get rid of junk mail.
    b. Do It – Tasks that can be completed in less than two minutes.
    c. Delegate – If it takes longer than two minutes and it’s appropriate for you to delegate it, then do that.
    d. Defer It – This is something you need to handle but it will take longer than two minutes.

Two to Lose

  1. Trying to get it all done.
    If you’re going to master your time, you’re going to have to learn the appropriate way to say no at work. If you have a comprehensive calendar or project list, you are able to say no, and also say when you will have the time to take care of a request. If you can’t clearly show why you have to defer a task, it can create confusion and frustration by your co-workers and managers. We’re all given the same amount of time in a day, and if you’re using that time wisely and efficiently, you’ll earn the respect that allows you to be able to say no.
  2. Touching paper once.
    You may think it’s crazy to go against the common advice to only “touch paper once,” but sometimes you need to defer things until later to keep moving forward with your goals and schedule. There is a good time to clean your workspace, but sometimes in the effort of productivity it may get a little messy. You want to make sure your workspace is safe, sometimes a mess can create a hazard, but if creating a stack of papers to file later or notes to respond to later works for you – then go with it.

What time management rules do you live by, and which ones do you break?

 

When Do I Start? A New Job Brief

Congratulations! You’ve landed a new job, now you’re asking, “When do I start?” A variety of factors can go into the decision on when your first day at your new job will be. Perhaps you need to give notice at your current job or your new employer has an onboarding process that must be in place before you can start.

In clarifying when your first day will be, you’ll want to get answers to a few questions.

  1. What time should I arrive at work?
    Be sure to get clarification on where you need to park and where you’ll need to report in. Some companies have security or locked entries, so you’ll need to find out how you’re supposed to handle that. Be sure to account for traffic at that time of day too. 
  2. What do I need to bring with me?
    Find out what supplies will be provided and what you’ll be expected to bring, for example, do you need to bring a hard hat or specific tools?
  3. What hours will I be working?
    Arrange your personal life to make sure you find out the details on your schedule, like when the work day ends and what break times you are given. This may also be a good way to find out if there is a lunch room you can use or if you have time to go out to lunch.
  4. What is the dress code?
    First impressions are everything, and you want to make sure you show that you’re ready to work. Do you need to wear steeled-toed shoes or are suits required? Get the specifics and don’t be afraid to ask questions or ask for the dress code policy to be sent to you.
  5. What can I expect on the first day?
    Everyone is nervous on the first day, but you can put yourself at ease by asking for a few details. Ask if you’ll be teamed up with someone for job training, if anyone else is starting that day in the same job as you, or if you’ll just be training or actually getting straight to work in your role. Maybe there is an agenda for new employees that could be sent to you prior to your first day.

More Advice for Your First Day
We’ve had a few blog posts on Movin’ on Up with tips for starting a new job. Here is a quick summary:

Prim and Proper: Basic Rules for Workplace Etiquette Check this post out for tips on how to get along with others on the  job and to help you make friends, not enemies, at your new job.

What to do When You’ve Got Big Shoes to Fill This post has advice on how to respectfully create your own path at a new job.

How to Succeed at Your First “Real” Job In this post you’ll find advice for starting on the right foot at a new job. Perhaps you’ve always worked with friends or family, or in more casual environments, and now you’re branching out and will need to make sure you’ve got all your bases covered.

What are your best tips for starting a new job?

Signs that Workplace Change is Coming

Have you ever had that eerie feeling that something was about to change? Are there ways to know if something big is coming your way?

Some say yes. Here are just a few clues that changes in the workplace could be in your future.

Budget Revisions
A shift in focus may be reflected first in a shift of the budget. If a division is being given additional funds it could be a sign of growth to come in that area. If you notice new equipment purchases or additional resources in a particular area, you may want to approach your manager to see if there is anything you can do to contribute to the development. Stay on the lookout for training being scheduled in that area and if you’re interested in learning more, be on the lookout for opportunities that match your skills with the development.

Rescheduled Meetings
Meetings can be rescheduled for a variety of reasons, but when appropriate, seek to understand why. Your manager may not always be able to share with you the reason a meeting was rescheduled and sometimes it may not have anything to do with the topic of that meeting. Instead, another matter of higher importance may have just taken its place. But sometimes when a meeting has been rescheduled it’s because new data has been provided that has changed the need for the original meeting. Perhaps priorities have shifted and a project that was once urgent has now been given a more flexible timeline. If you are able to have open communication regarding a meeting that has been rescheduled, you may actually learn something new that will impact your industry, company, or job function.

New Faces
When someone new joins the team they may think they’ve got big shoes to fill, or they may think their role is to shake things up a bit and bring in some new energy. When new people join a team they bring with them a host of ideas and experiences that are likely to influence and develop the workplace. A fresh perspective may seem intimidating or exhausting at first, but new blood often invigorates and advances a team. Seek to find a balance with new team members in allowing them to try out their new ideas, and preventing them from reinventing the wheel or trying solutions that have failed in the past. It can be hard to think trying something that failed in the past is a good idea, but with new players and a different environment the results could change, so look for ways to help and provide prospective.

If you’ve spent any time in the workforce you know that change is inevitable. Try not to worry about things beyond your control, instead look for ways you can develop your skills and have a better big-picture understanding of your workplace. This can help you be ready to make the best of changes, perhaps even advancing your career when things get switched up. What are some ways you’ve benefited from change in the workplace? Or what new ideas have been a result of new team members or big changes?

It’s Time to Check Your Progress – Self Evaluations

It’s Time to Check Your Progress – Self EvaluationsThe mid-year point can be a great time to give yourself a review on your job performance. Most companies typically hold performance reviews or annual reviews at the end of the calendar year, but at that point there isn’t much you can do to improve your scorecard for the year. Here are the key elements in conducting a self-review.

  1. Review the progress you’ve made on your goals.
    Remember the goals you set for yourself at the beginning the year? When is the last time you reviewed those? Now is the perfect time to review them and see where you are at meeting them. If you are struggling with a goal, take some time to consider what the obstacles are and how you can work around them. In areas where you’ve succeeded, it’s a great motivator to see how your performance is paying off. Often, we are so busy getting our work done we don’t take the time to look up and see how far we’ve come. This evaluation may just be the motivation and encouragement you need to keep pressing on.
  2. Review any new skills you’ve learned or skills you’ve advanced.
    Have you been to any training events this year? Have you taken any online classes or webinars, or read any development publications? Even though everything you learn might not create a new or advanced skill, it’s good to review what you’ve been doing to stay fresh and keep your skills sharp. Now may be a good time to create or update your list of job specific abilities and soft skills, and you may even want to score yourself on them. If you have a résumé, it may be a good time to update it or add any new skills to your LinkedIn page. Keeping those things up to date regularly prevents you from having to do major overhauls every few years.
  3. Create a timeline for improvement.
    Everyone has room for improvement, and even if you’ve met your goals, now is a great time to start thinking of ways to advance or add milestones you’d like to achieve. This timeline will remind and motivate you to pursue your development goals and will demonstrate your commitment to improvement to your manager. It would be great to share this with your manager, especially if you’re going to need additional resources to achieve your goals. Even if you don’t share it with your manager now, it will be a wonderful asset to discuss in your annual review.

How do you measure your performance and development? Share your tips in the comments section below.